Spiritual Practice: Withholding Judgement

Walkingthecamino

People walk along the Camino De Santiago in Spain as a spiritual practice of pilgrimage. Recently I was involved in an online version of this pilgrimage which was very interesting. One thing our leaders emphasized in the orientation is every person has a different Camino, meaning you can’t compare your experience to that of anyone else as each is unique.

I’ve been trying to develop this mindset about the pandemic when I want to judge someone else’s experience. When I feel angry about protesters or people not wearing masks, I get really judgy.

The truth is, each person is experiencing this pandemic completely differently.

Some are overwhelmed with having small kids at home and trying to work, some are facing financial ruin, some are experiencing acute anxiety, and some have to work no matter what. I don’t have any idea what you are going through and I want to stop comparing my quarantine experience to yours.

Recently I was listening to Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday with Eckhart Tolle and he pointed out that America has not gone through anything this catastrophic since WW2. Since most of us did not live through WW2, this is a first for most of us! We are all just trying our best for ourselves and our families.

symmetrical photography of clouds covered blue sky

How do we keep from judging others during this time?

First, limit social media. It can be a black hole of division. I was hoping this pandemic would be a time of coming together in love, but it seems only to be strengthening the divide between us among some groups. If there is someone whose posts are constantly bringing you down, unfollow or mute them in some way, at least for a time.

The same can be said for the news as well. We all need to stay informed, but an hour a day can do that. Don’t let yourself get sucked into that black hole of fear.

Instead, give yourself time to meditate, pray, and focus on something positive. We need positivity now more than ever. John Krasinski’s SGN (Some Good News) broadcasts have been a lifesaver for me. They make me laugh and cry and see the hope in the world every week. Thank you, John!

Get outside. I know this will be harder for some of you than for others but there is nothing like fresh air and nature to bring peace, joy, and cleansing into your life.

Think of your various relationships as having either a net negative or net positive charge. The folks that are always draining your battery need to be balanced by those that bring a positive charge. Take an inventory. Is your life full of net negative people? Time to add some net positive folks or at least limit time with the net negatives.

Most of all maintain an attitude of GRACE. We are all just trying to figure this out. People are reacting out of fear in very public ways. Let’s offer each other love, support, and grace and let go of the critical judgments.  I’m speaking to myself here first.

Let me know how you are navigating your pandemic. We can get through this together.

Photo Credit Camino 

Photo of nature by James Wheeler on Pexels.com

Spiritual Practice: Guided Meditation for Times of Stress

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In my private practice, we use a lot of mindfulness and meditation to help clients learn to relax and lower their anxiety. I believe these practices are great spiritual practices to help connect our minds, hearts, and bodies.

Most of us are living in a time of increased anxiety, although as the popular meme says, we are all in the same boat but not in the same storm.

 

not in same storm

 

To help my clients, I’ve been leading them through some guided meditations and I thought I’d offer one to you today. So, wait until you have ten minutes, get to a quiet place and allow yourself to relax. If this helps you, there are a lot of apps like Insight Timer and Head Space that offer free guided meditations.

Let me know if this helps you or what guided meditations you’ve enjoyed during this difficult time.

 

 

 

Photo at top by Life Of Pix on Pexels.com
Storm Meme from Facebook. No author noted

Spiritual Practice: Overcoming Darkness

 

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It’s easy to be overcome by all the evil in the world. From political decisions that separate children from their parents to the rampant abuse coming to light in the Catholic church, to the thousands upon thousands of heart-wrenching “Me Too” stories. It feels like too much to deal with, and sometimes I just want to shut down or give up.

A few days ago, after reading about the Catholic abuse cases and how the leaders of the church tried to deal with it by moving the perpetrators to other parishes, I had a dream. In this dream, I was trying to single-handedly deal with two people who had become possessed by a great evil, a familiar evil. It was like trying to contain chaos. I knew my efforts wouldn’t work even though I was trying to put the two people in a house and nail the door shut. I knew it was futile.

It’s hard to see where God is in times like these. But, I love the quote believed to have originated with Theodore Parker  but used by MLK and so many others:

“The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.”

It doesn’t seem to be true in the here and now, but overall things are better than in the past. Not to say that there are not still HUGE problems, obviously, there are, but compared to say, the dark ages, things are better. How do things get better? Well, as my dream told me, we can’t do this alone.

First, we need to stop trying to hide evil. Bring it to light. Let the victims come forward, let the “me too” folks share their stories, let us all say that ‘Black Lives Matter,” let the media report on things that are wrong so we can all see them, let our LGBTQ family come out of the closet. Because once those things come to light, then we can begin to admit that we have some work to do, grieve and heal together.

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Second, we can’t do this alone. It’s too overwhelming. We need to work together, all of us on all sides of the political and philosophical spectra. We each need to do our part to heal those who have been hurt, to change unjust laws and to realize that these are systemic issues. There ARE systems in place to keep people of color down. There ARE systems in place, in church, and in the business world, to keep women out of leadership positions and our rainbow family in the closet. There ARE systems in place to protect pedophiles. All of these systems need to be seen, addressed and we need to work together to break them down.

Third, it was clear to me in my dream that this evil is “bigger than us.” I believe we also need God. We need the divine good, the benevolent forces of the universe, the Holy Spirit of Jesus. However you need to say it, we need help!

Am I alone out here, shouting into the wind? What do you think?

 

Photo Credit:, Light in Darkness

 

 

Spiritual Practice: Waiting

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Nobody likes to sit in a waiting room. We might not mind for a few minutes while we catch up on favorite magazines, but after that, we get antsy and impatient and start to think uncharitable thoughts about whomever we’re waiting for.

Have you ever been in a spiritual waiting room, the time between one thing and the next when you have no recourse but to wait on God? It can be disconcerting—but it can also grow your faith and character in a way few things can.

Staying Power

The experience of being “between two things” has been referred to as “liminal space” by spiritual formation writers. In an article titled “Grieving as Sacred Space,” Richard Rohr defines liminal space as “a unique spiritual position where human beings hate to be but where the biblical God is always leading them.” He adds:

It is when you have left the “tried and true” but have not yet been able to replace it with anything else. It is when you are finally out of the way. It is when you are in between your old comfort zone and any possible new answer… If you are not trained in how to hold anxiety, how to live with ambiguity, how to entrust and wait—you will run… Anything to flee from this terrible “cloud of unknowing.”

Liminal space can be caused by many things: a long-term illness, the death of someone you love, the inability to get a job, the need to decide on a major, a bad relationship that you feel stuck in, or a sense that there is no place for you to bear fruit in the world.

As Rohr suggests, our tendency is to run when we’re in liminal spaces, but I’m encouraging you to stay. Someone once told me that often the best prayer we can manage is to stay in an uncomfortable situation. That’s the best waiting we can do too.

What Waiting Requires

So, whatever the reason you’re waiting, don’t try to rush out of it. Instead, ask God to show you what you can learn while you’re there.

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You might also consider employing these six tips to help you through this time.

  1. Find someone to wait with you. As Pooh says to Piglet, “It’s so much friendlier with two.” Of course, no one can fully share the agony of your waiting, but having a trusted friend, mentor, therapist, or spiritual director along with you on your journey can help tremendously.
  2. Keep a journal. You don’t want to miss the lessons of this time, and journaling can help you sort out your thoughts.
  3. Be kind to yourself. Eat right, sleep well, exercise. It’s easy to feel sorry for ourselves when these times come, but falling into bad health habits will not help you weather this storm. Think of the waiting as a spiritual marathon, and keep up your training.
  4. Don’t be a turtle. Sometimes, when things are hard, pulling away from others and into a protective shell can be a natural instinct. But what you really need when you’re waiting is a community. Reach out to your friends. The journey will be lighter with friends to help support and encourage you.
  5. Find some heroes who have endured difficult times. Interview your parents and relatives about what they’ve learned during trials. Study the life of Martin Luther King Jr. or read poems by Maya Angelou.

Remember, God does some of God’s best work in deserts, cocoons, waiting rooms, and tombs. Don’t fear this liminal space. Embrace the space!

What has helped you get through times of waiting?

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Photo: Waiting Room: From my dentist office waiting room!

The second is artwork called “melancholy: by Albert Gyorgy and can be found in Geneva, Switzerland.

*I originally wrote this article for IVCF and have changed it a bit to fit the language I’m more comfortable with.