I first wrote about the spiritual practice of Spiritual Direction in February of 2017. At that time, I took you through what might be a typical spiritual direction meeting. Clink the link below to start there or come back to it later.
Since then several things have changed. First, I’m now not only a spiritual director and a supervisor of spiritual directors, but I also run a spiritual direction training program! And, there seems to be a huge openness to the practice of receiving spiritual direction that wasn’t so common when I last wrote. This is very exciting!
Spiritual direction is an ancient practice that goes back to the desert mothers and fathers in the Christian tradition, and it can be found in different forms in most religions. Basically, it’s the practice of meeting with a spiritual guide who companions you on your faith journey. Most directors go through a two or three year certification program before starting a direction practice.
The name spiritual direction is a bit of a misnomer. A spiritual director does not give you direction. Spiritual companion might be a better term. It is a person who sits with you in the presence of the divine and listens deeply.
This person might notice themes or point out repeated phrases, or ask open ended questions. There are many differences between therapy, pastoral counseling, life coaching, and spiritual direction. The biggest difference is that the spiritual director does not have an agenda for you. As a therapist my agenda is to help you heal from past trauma or places you are stuck in life. As a pastoral counselor I used to focus on training and equipping people or helping them solve problems. Life Coaches focus on setting and attaining goals. A spiritual director’s only agenda is to listen to you in the presence of the divine, and to join with you wherever you are in your spiritual journey.
People often seek spiritual directors later in life when the things that worked for them spiritually aren’t working so well anymore. For instance, if the forms of prayer they are familiar with become stale and they feel disconnected from God, they might seek out a director. Or if they are in a life transition and need someone to help them navigate it, they might see a director. Or if, as in my case, when I was being trained to be a director, I needed to have a director!
I’ve had two directors over the last ten years. I meet with my director monthly for one hour, and even though I often don’t know what I want to talk about when the session starts, I have usually figured out some things by the end. It’s a very grounding experience.
If you think it might be time for you to find a director there are several places to look. The biggest resource list is Spiritual Directors international. They have directors listed by region and directors of all faiths. Most directors are meeting virtually now so you can also find directors online via the program I run, Christian Formation and Direction Ministry in Nevada (CFDMNV). Check here to find a director who is taking new directees.
You probably want to interview three directors before you choose one, and know that you and the director both have the right to say, “this is not working for me” at any time. I’d say give yourself three meetings with your director before making a decision; if it’s not a good fit, try someone else.
Does this sound like something you’d enjoy? Have you tried meeting with a director? I’d love to hear about your experience or answer any questions I can.
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