Spiritual Practice: Oneness

oneness

My friend Catherine Gregg says the goal of our spiritual growth is “Oneness with God.” I’d add, “Oneness with God and each other,” but I don’t think you can separate the two; they are dependent on each other.

But what is oneness? Is it a pie-in-the-sky ideal, or is it something we can experience here on earth? I’d like to suggest it is what we are working toward every day, and we will occasionally get to experience it. Perhaps we will experience it more and more over time. It takes time because we have to get past a huge roadblock — the space between us. Any space that keeps us apart, the color of our skin, our social economic status, our voting record, our religious or sexual preferences, all of these things keep us separated into us-and-them categories. But, sometimes we can see beyond that into oneness.

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Here’s a story to illustrate:

I don’t go around hugging strangers. I’m warm and affectionate to my family and close friends, but the church I’m currently visiting has a greeting time where everyone hugs each other. It feels very uncomfortable to me, though I’m trying to get past the awkwardness of strangers invading my bubble.

But, recently I went to visit a new hospice patient in her home. I was met by her daughter, who is about sixty years old, and who is also her mother’s caregiver. When she invited me in, she stopped and pointed to a dog bed on the floor with a blanket draped over it. She looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, “My dog just died.” Before I could even consider what I was doing, I had her in my arms and held her while she cried. In that moment, we were one. We were not strangers meeting for the first time, we were humans, together in an experience of deep loss that we could both relate to. Even though we had just met, the otherness of her was swept aside by our common pain and shared experience. That is what I mean by oneness, or unity; it is a goal for the human race to be that with each other and with God. It is developing the ability to see beyond our differences to our shared human experience.

But most often we are dualistic, like the way I feel at the church I’m visiting. I am me, and you are you, and why are you getting into my space? This is also true of much of our thinking, it is either/or, black/white, us/them, in/out. I’m not saying it’s always bad to be separate and have boundaries, I’m just saying our long term spiritual goal moves us away from the things that separate us toward a unity of being, with each other and with God. In the words of the Quakers, we “look for that of God in each other.”

A prayer that I often pray before my day begins is, “God, give me your eyes today. Help me see people the way you do.” I challenge you to try this and see if it makes a difference. Let me know what you find out.

Photo images: Sculpture, Hugs

 

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Spiritual Practice: Massage Therapy

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I can hear what you’re thinking right now, “Now THERE’S a spiritual practice I can get into!”

The first time I went in for a massage I was surprised to find myself crying. But, the massage therapist was not surprised. She said it happens a lot because massage releases stress, tension and trauma from within the body.

I’d heard about body memory during my training as a Marriage and Family Therapist, but I wasn’t sure that I believed it. How could our very cells hold a memory? Then one day I was sitting in my private counseling practice, across from a woman who was describing a difficult memory that she had never told anyone. She recounted how, years before, an abuser had grabbed her arm and as she spoke to me four finger sized bruises appeared on her arm. Did you catch that? Four bruises in the shape of the abuser’s fingers appeared on her arm before my eyes!

The cells of her body had held that memory all those years.  

This is why I’m including massage in a blog on spiritual practices. We are whole people. You’ve heard me say before that the ancient eastern understanding of the soul is body, mind and spirit – all three. But, when it comes to trauma, most of us look for healing for our spirit and our mind, but forget to include our bodies.

A friend of mine who runs spiritual practice retreats in Fresno California, suggested CranioSacral therapy is another body practice that can be helpful in releasing deep trauma and tension through a light touch to pressure points in your head. He actually has a CranioSacral therapist come to his retreats and offer 15-minute sessions, saying that it goes hand in hand with other spiritual practices to bring health and healing to the whole soul.

So, here’s some homework you have always wished someone would give you: Go get a massage!! Or try CranioSacral therapy. Don’t have much money? Most cities have schools where students will give you a one-hour massage at a greatly reduced rate. Enjoy!

bending willow new             new stretching willow             new finding willow             new willow's ride

Now for some shameless self-promotion: We’ve just finished creating new covers for my Finding Home Series and I think they look amazing. Plus, book five is almost out! So, if you have, or know of a child age eight and up, please share this series. It is very popular with the kiddos. Here is a text I received two days ago from a friend regarding the first book, Bending Willow:

“So, my “little brother” (through big Brothers big sisters) was describing to me a book today. He begins with, “I really don’t usually read books about girls lives, but this one was recommended to me by my teacher, and they went to burning man… it was soooo good.” He described the scene and then I asked him if the book was by chance called Bending Willow. He said yes, and I told him my friend actually wrote that book. He said he loves it, and he wants me to get his copies autographed 😀

 

Thanks for reading and I would love to hear if any of you have tried CranioSacral therapy and how it was for you. Also, how massage has helped your soul!

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